Passion Exhumed
by Fooberman
Summary: A Harlequin Romance about Archeologists. At first the reviews were funny now they're annoying. I overestimated the Futurama trivia knowledge of the people here. Passion Exhumed is a book mentioned in Jurassic Bark. That is the connection.


Passion Exhumed

I don't own the rights to Futurama or anything about it. Technically, this work is probably original enough to be just fiction and not fan fiction. Still, just to be safe, there it is.

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**Chapter 1**

Janet rolled over as she woke up. The bed was much too big for her, she knew. She had married at 18 and divorced at 28. Now, 32, she had never quite gotten the hang of being single. Dating was a problem, first because she didn't seem to be very good at it and second because (as she was discovering) 30 year old men are an incredibly pathetic bunch, possessing neither the energy of a 20 year old boy or the maturity of a 40 year old man.

She went through her morning routine absent-mindedly. She ate breakfast with her morning coffee, took a shower, fixed her hair, and got dressed. The dress she put on seemed designed not so much to dispel the notion (in case it anyone held it) that an attractive woman might be underneath it but to raise the presumably undoubted question of whether the wearer was, in fact, a woman at all.

She looked in the mirror and frowned. She saw the faintest of lines around her eyes and lips. A lot of companies, she thought, were spending a lot of money to make her feel bad about those lines, and it was working. She frowned again, and put on her makeup.

Her mind was off doing whatever it does as she walked to the elevator, to the street, and to the subway. She had found that daydreaming was very useful when riding the subway in New New York; otherwise one begins to think things like "What is that smell", "I wonder how many of these people have guns", and "Is that urine?"

The call for her stop pulled her out of her own little world and back into the larger, less satisfactory, one. She looked at her watch; she would be late in 15 minutes. She looked at the door to her office building; she would be at her desk in 5.

She smiled as she rode the elevator to the 30th floor. Work was like a rock. More specifically, it was like a pebble in her shoe. She didn't deny that it was a constant annoyance; she just preferred to focus on the 'constant' part.

The elevator stopped, the door opened, and she walked out. She had done this enough times to have gotten past not thinking about it and on to thinking how different her day would be if those three things happened in a different order. She smiled as she walked through the glass doors of the Commonwealth Insurance Company. She had worked there for 8 years as what could loosely be called an actuarian. Her job was to find low risk sub-groups in high risk populations. It was a mixture of statistical analysis, intuition, and tedium.

She still wore her smile as she passed the receptionist's desk, and she would have looked less out of place had she been wearing lingerie. She walked past a group of somber coworkers to her office.

Prior to leaving for the weekend she had set up a group of analytical studies and simulations to run in her absence. She logged onto her computer and saw that they were still a few minutes away from finishing. With some frustration pushed against her desk, causing her chair to roll across the room with her in it. She slouched down in her chair and stared at the ceiling. She heard a knock on the door.

Stan, a man her age and a coworker, stuck his head through the doorway. "Have you heard the news?", he asked.

"What news?", she said, adding "I guess that means no."

"At 9PM last night" he said, "our company was bought out. At 7AM this morning a memo was sent out announcing that we and two other offices will be closed. It said no surplus employees will be transferred to other offices, which means"

She interrupted him, saying "Which means we're SOL. It means good bye, good luck, and go to hell. It means clean out your desk and be out of here in an hour."

"Well, by 5, but pretty much what you said" he added sheepishly, "But we do get an OK severance package. We get 4 weeks of pay plus a week per year of service. It isn't as good as having a job, but it could be worse."

She stared at him blankly. The shock of it was just starting to sink in. He spoke again, "Do you want to go to lunch after we get out of here? I really wish I'd gotten to know you better in our time here."

"No, not today" she answered, "not today." He left a box inside her door, telling her it was to pack up her things. She filled the box with the books she had brought in and the few personal effects with which she had adorned her workspace. She thought about going to talk to her (soon to be former) coworkers, but didn't think she could do it without crying. She didn't want anyone to see her cry.

She carried the box to the elevator, down to the lobby, and to the street. She hailed a taxi and rode home. She continued to her building, the elevator, and her apartment. She put the box down on the floor, sat on the sofa, and cried.

The fury of the storm surprised her, as well is its length. Slowly she returned to herself, though still shaken. She wanted two things more than anything at that moment: not to have anyone see her like this and not to be alone. She did the only thing that seemed remotely like a good idea; she called her sister, Erin.

The phone rang; she was torn as to whether or not she wanted it to be answered. Just when she had given up, she heard the familiar voice on the other end "Good morning, this is Samuel L Jackson. How the fuck are you on this fine mother-fuckin' day?" She laughed, "You know that will never cease to be funny. To what do I owe the pleasure, sis?"

Janet answered with a smile "Well it certainly won't stop being funny until it starts. You have a few minutes?"

"For you? I can spare a few minutes. I'll be at work soon, though. What's up?"

"The office got closed. I got laid off." Her eyes started to sting and mist up again.

Erin offered such words of comfort and encouragement as she knew, adding "So what are you planning to do now?"

"I don't know. I guess I'll start looking for a job."

"Why don't you come visit me for a month?" Erin asked.

"A month!?!?" Janet asked.

"Sure, a month. The rest will do you good. After that you'll be ready to get back to work. You'll have me around, so you won't wallow in self pity and have no fun, and after a month we'll be so sick of each other we'll both want you to go back across the country and never call. The spare bedroom is empty, so fly out here and fill it."

"When", Janet asked, "have I ever followed your advice?"

"When", Erin replied, "has it ever been bad?"

Janet thought about it for a while, and then smiled. She sighed, to sound as if she'd lost a bet and was very grudgingly going to pay her debt, "I guess I'll go pack."

"I'm sorry, sis, but I've got to go. Call me when you land. Bye."

Just like that, the call was over. She wasn't sure how she had gotten talked into going to San Diablo for a month, but she was far more excited about that than the thought of staying in New New York and looking for job. Between the half million she had saved and her severance pay she didn't have any money worries, and she thought she really ought to take the current crisis as, if nothing else good, an opportunity for a good vacation.

She packed for the trip. She packed enough regular clothes for a week, plus workout clothes, sleepwear, clothes for bumming around the apartment, and a few nice outfits. She arranged for her neighbor to check her mail, paid the next month's rent in advance, and went online to book a ticket. She called for a cab and carried her two rather large and heavy bags down to the street. She rode to the airport, nervous about her future and about seeing her sister for the first time in several years. She was more excited than nervous, and had trouble sitting still in the cab. She reached the airport in a little over half an hour. After several hours in lines (a line to get her ticket, a line to check her bags, a line to go through security, and a line to get on the plane). She was sitting on the plane. In an hour she was at SDX; she called her sister.

**Chapter 2**

"I'm at the airport in San Diablo", she said.

"Wow", Erin replied, "You must be excited to see me; I was sure you'd take a later flight."

"Why put off the inevitable?", Janet retorted, and added, "so when should I look for you?"

Erin thought for a few second s and then said, "Give me an hour. I need to take care of a few things, and then I'll have a bit of a drive."

Janet was unable to mask the enthusiasm in her voice, "OK, well I'll see you then. I'm in terminal D. Bye!"

She wandered around the airport for a while. In the shock of losing her job and the sudden preparation and excitement for this trip she had skipped lunch. She grabbed a snack and decided to kill time at the airport's "History of San Diablo" exhibit. She was surprised to learn than San Diablo spent much of its history (of which she had known little) as San Diego, the name having been changed when Satanism became the majority and official religion in the United States in 2756 (The first amendment to the US Constitution having been repealed in 2010).

She looked at her watch and saw that her sister would be arriving an a few minutes; se ran with her bags to the curbside loading area and waited. In a few minutes her sister rolled up; she threw her bags into the back seat and climbed into the passenger seat. She buckled her seatbelt and they set off for Erin's apartment.

"So", Erin asked, "How are you doing?"

"Good, I'm good", Janet answered, "All things considered, I'm feeling very good."

They made small talk as Erin drove them back to her apartment. Janet felt a little jealous of her younger sister. She had stayed single and seemed much happier with it and well adjusted to it than Janet was managing. She was near the age of her peak beauty and, Janet thought, was, unlike her, on the better side of it. It was hard for Janet to see her sister as anything less than a beautiful flower just beginning to bloom and herself as anything more than a flower just beginning to wilt.

They reached Erin's apartment. She parked her car and they each carried one of her bags inside, taking it to the second bedroom in the back. The sat down at the dining room table while the Automa-cook prepared a Mexi-Cali dish. Janet eyed it suspiciously; it had guacamole in it, which had been outlawed in New New York during the great culture war of the early 30th century. She tried a bite and liked. "Maybe", she thought, "This is an OK place after all."

They talked a great deal more. Janet was a little embarrassed, as she had so little to talk about. Erin hadn't found Mr. Right yet, but she had been on some dates and had had a few serious relationships. All Janet could say was, "umm, well, I'd been so busy at work, and. . ."

She hadn't done a very good job making friends and she didn't have any real hobbies; since the divorce she'd really only had work. Now she didn't have that.

Erin, realizing the effect that this was having on her sister, stopped the conversation, "Oh, I'm sorry. You've had a long day and you're tired. Here I've been pumping you for news when I should have been letting you relax."

"Well, I'm not sleepy yet", Janet said.

"OK then", Erin replied, "How about you go change into something more comfortable, and then we'll watch a movie?"

"Sounds good", Janet said, "I'll be back in a minute."

Janet went back to what was and would, for a month, be her bedroom and changed into sweat pants and a T-Shirt. Erin went to her movie collection to pick out something to watch. A drama seemed to her a little too serious. A romantic comedy, she thought, was more likely to depress her sister than to lighten her mood. She went for one of the few low comedies in her collection.

It was said in the 21st century that Hollywood had run out of new ideas. While that wasn't actually true until the 25th century, it was not the rock-bottom it had been thought to be. By the late 29th century, Hollywood had also run out of old ideas to recycle. Since not making movies wasn't really an option, they resorted to mixing old ideas in new ways. That was how "Yoda and Gollum: The Musical" was made. How it came to pass that Erin went to her local video store and uttered the phrase "Excuse me, I'd like to purchase Yoda and Gollum: The Musical" is a mystery as yet unsolved.

The watched to movie and laughed a few times. By the end, Janet was yawning and Erin was ready for bed herself. When the movie ended, Erin wished her a good night and they went to their bedrooms. Janet fell asleep quickly and slept soundly through the night. If she had any dreams, she didn't remember them in the morning.

**Chapter 3**

Janet woke up early, her body still in tune to -6 time (when Earth was united under a single government, all of the time zones were renamed after their relationship (anywhere between -12 and +12) to standard time). She took a shower, got dressed in casual, everyday clothes, and read a few more chapters in "Women are from Omecron Persei 7 and Men are from Omecron Persei 9". When she heard Erin wake up and get into the shower, she started the Automa-cook making a pot of coffee, scrambled eggs, and toast. It was just ready when Erin walked out of her room, dressed for work with hair only very slightly damp. Seeing breakfast set out, she thanked her sister and they sat down and ate.

Erin asked if she'd slept well, explained that she was going to have to work all week, and asked if Janet had any questions. Janet assured her that she'd be fine. Erin told her to call if she needed anything and that she'd be back in ten hours. "Oh", she added, "and whatever you do, DO NOT press the red button in the kitchen."

A bit surprised, Janet asked, "What red button? Why?"

Erin smiled, "Just kidding; have a good day." She walked out the door and closed it behind her.

She wasn't sure how to pass the ten hours. She looked around for something to do. She didn't want to read anymore and she didn't want to watch a movie. She stumbled upon her sister's exercise tapes, a San Diablo trend she had heard about called Pinates, a program that (as near as she could tell) was built around the idea that pretending to swing a stick to get imaginary candy was a great way to get or stay in shape. She started the tape and was quickly too tired to go on. This is not a surprise; every culture has its own way to pass time and burn energy. In London they hate themselves, In New New York they hate other people, and in San Diablo they exercise (many experts consider this a reversion to the London solution to the problem).

She rested for a few minutes, drank some water, and tried again. She made it a few more minutes before she had to stop. Like this, in a little over 6 hours, she finished the 1-hour program (as well as breaking a lamp). After a light lunch, she sat on the sofa, now quite tired and thoroughly sweaty, and watched an "All My Circuits" marathon. She wasn't overly familiar with the show, so the number of brain tumors, the recurrence of amnesia, and the frequency with which Calculon seemed compelled to cry "No!" to a raining sky was a little off-putting. None-the-less, she laughed, she cried, she learned something, and she forgot something. What more could be asked of 4 hours of entertainment.

She took a shower and put on clean clothes just in time for her sister to get home, looking rather happier and more energetic than Janet remembered feeling when she got home from work. "How was your day?", Erin asked.

"Not bad", Janet answered, "I rested, I exercised, and I watched TV. A pretty full day, all told. How was yours?"

"It was OK; not the worst, not the best", she answered. Erin was either the highest rung secretarial employee or the lowest rung technical one. She certainly had all the skills to advance beyond that, but seemed content with the money she made in rather unwilling to work longer or harder. She set the Automa-Cook in motion and they sat down at the table.

Dinner was excellent again, with Erin explaining that the key was to load the Automa-Cook with nothing but organic foods. Janet nodded, she wasn't sure she bought all the nonsense about organic foods, but the results were certainly undeniable. They talked more about trivial things like life and love and more serious matters like hair and makeup. They played cards until Janet could barely keep her eyes open. They went to bed.

The next day was much the same. The chatted briefly in the morning before Erin went to work. Janet tried Pinates again, this time in only 4 hours and without breaking a lamp. She ate lunch and then watched TV until Erin came home. Erin seemed more full of energy and joy than Janet had thought possible at the end of the work day. They ate a nice dinner and watched a movie, a romantic comedy about a man who worked as a consultant helping men meet the woman of their dreams, but whose life was interrupted when he had to go with 3 of his friends to destroy an evil, powerful magic ring. She laughed and forgot something, which was probably all she needed at that point. They went to sleep.

The third day was somewhat problematic, as she finished the Pinates workout in only two hours. She read a few more chapters in her book and played solitaire until it was time for lunch. Then she was ready for a few hours of relaxing TV and her sister's return. They ate another lovely dinner and player a board game. They talked and laughed. Secretly, Janet was afraid that her sister wasn't enjoying this as much as she herself was. It bothered her to be a charity case, but she let it go and had fun. The evening came to an end and they went to bed.

Friday Janet did her workout straight through without stopping. To celebrate, she had Automa-Cook make her a latte, which she drank out on the patio. Instead of watching TV she played her sister's PlayStation 3X7. She picked out a game called "Grand Theft Starship III", which she had heard of, but never played. It was controversial, as it was the first game made in which the player could commit genocide. Decency advocates lamented that they could remember the day when the worst thing you could do in a video game was drop nuclear bombs on civilian populations, but the game was a hit in spite of (or, perhaps, because of) their protests. Janet enjoyed the game and was surprised to discover, when Erin came home, to discover that she had been playing for 5 hours.

They ate dinner and played the game for several more tricks, with Erin teaching Janet how to get past a few places where she had been stuck and showing her a few things that had been hidden in the game. They went to bed with Janet having no idea what they would do over the weekend.

**Chapter 4**

The next morning they enjoyed a leisurely breakfast of french toast, which Janet had never eaten (it had been outlawed for over a century in New New York after France voted against a war against The Karie Republic). "You know", Erin said", "I can't remember seeing you look so happy. It's like you'd been carrying a weight around for so long you'd forgotten it was there, and suddenly it is gone."

Janet hadn't thought about it, but she did feel happy and at peace and Erin's wording made sense even if it was something she wouldn't have ever thought to say. "Maybe, I don't know. I do feel good, though. Very good", was all she said.

"Still", Erin said, "we need to get you out of the house. Unless you're going to go barefoot and have my babies we need to get you back into sunshine and the world. Is there anything you'd like to do?"

Janet hadn't thought about it. She didn't know what there was to do or what of it was worth doing. She shrugged. "Well then", Erin suggested, "why don't we go shopping?" Not having another suggestion, Erin consented.

They went to the mall. It was just the perfect level of crowded, not so crowded that you couldn't find parking, walk freely, or get to cashiers and dressing rooms and not so empty that you felt self-conscious and uncomfortably un-anonymous. They looked at video games, music, and movies. They spent an alarming amount of money at bath and body works. They ate ice cream cones. Finally, they looked at clothes, splitting the time between admiring clothes they liked and mocking those they wouldn't wear on a bet. They chanced upon a sleeveless, knee length black dress. Janet was, momentarily, speechless. Erin said she should try it on. Janet brushed the suggestion aside. Erin, showing a stubbornness Janet hadn't ever seen, told her that they simply wouldn't leave until she (Erin) had seen her (Janet) in that dress. Janet consented and took the dress into the changing room.

She came out a few minutes later. Erin gasped, then laughed and clapped, when she saw Janet in it. "Turn around", Erin said.

Janet turned around and looked at herself in the mirror. Erin stood beside her, looking in the mirror at her sister. "What do you think?", Erin asked.

Janet loved the dress and herself in it, but she said "Oh, I don't know."

"Well I do", Erin replied, "I love it and I think you should get it."

"But when would I wear it? And should I buy it RIGHT now, when I don't have a job?", Janet shot back.

"Then I'll get it for you. I haven't gotten you a proper birthday present in I don't know how long. I owe you, and I really want you to have this dress", Erin said, much to Janet's surprise.

Janet then did a very dangerous thing; she said exactly what she thought. "This is such a beautiful dress; a really beautiful woman should have it"

Erin put her hands on her sister's shoulders and spoke softly, "I agree, and that's why I want you to have it." Janet wiped a tear from her eye, and Erin looked away and pretended she hadn't seen it. Janet went back into the dressing room and changed. Erin bought her the dress and they went home.

They spent most of the next day lounging around Erin's apartment and working on the crossword puzzle. An interesting effect of interplanetary travel and the subsequent discovery of other intelligent forms of life was that crossword puzzles got much harder. There were simply an explosion the number of facts and languages that a person doing a crossword puzzle might be expected to know. Paradoxically, this changed how people felt about crossword puzzles. Previously, completing a good crossword puzzle was a mark of pride. Now, only a person with neither a job nor a social life could possibly know even a fraction of what a crossword puzzle maker might ask. The San Diablo Ambrosium had one of the best crossword puzzles in the world. Erin and Janet worked on it for close to 8 hours and only got 6 answers. Only two of the six were correct; their self-esteem was through the roof.

Laundry led to dinner, which led to a fun evening mocking the pathetic writing at a popular fan fiction internet site, which ended when they both were too tired to mock the noble efforts of self-expression of their fellow man (and aliens).

**Chapter 5**

Janet woke up early and tore through another exercise program. She programmed the Automa-Cook to have breakfast ready in half an hour and then got in the shower. She put on one of her casual outfits and a touch of makeup and emerged just as Erin and breakfast reached the dining room table. "Well, you're all dressed up", Erin said, "where are you going?"

Janet thought about it for a while and asked, "I don't know, where should I go?"

'Why don't you go for a walk?", Erin suggested. Janet looked skeptical. In New New York, going for a walk was like shopping at Wal-Mart. It was something that any person might do in a state of necessity, but never by choice or without shame. Erin continued, "Come on, this is Southern California. Everybody walks in Southern California."

Janet expressed her continued skepticism, but figured that Erin had earned the benefit of the doubt. Janet (now in possession of the spare key) left a few minutes after Erin. She walked close to 6 miles that day (being a sensible person, she always wore sensible shoes), but found nothing that kept her interest. Everything looked so polished and phony. She missed New New York for the first time in a week and walked back feeling more than a little dejected.

When Erin got home, Janet told her about her walk. Erin said, "You went north, didn't you? I'm sorry; I should have told you about that. There's nothing worth seeing that way; hell, it depresses me."

Between that, dinner, and an evening of various and sundry activities Janet started to feel better. She at least felt like walking in a different direction the next day and giving San Diablo another chance.

She did another workout the next morning, at breakfast with her sister, and went for another walk. This time she went east. In a few miles she found a small botanical garden. She sat on a bench beneath a lush, green tree. She stood on a small bridge and watched the water flow by and fish doing whatever it is that fish do. She looked at the flowers, ignoring the sings telling her what species each plant was, where it grew, and what man was doing that endangered it. They were beautiful, like the previous day's sights had not been. They were honest and real like all she had seen the day before was not. It was a sorrow to know that ugliness and falsehood were defeating beauty and truth, but a great comfort to be reminded that they had not yet won.

When she saw the sun setting she returned home, arriving just after her sister. "I was starting to worry", Erin said, "Did you have a good day? Where'd you go?"

Janet flashed a smile to match Erin's and said "I had a very nice day. I went that way (she said, pointing East) to the botanical garden."

"Oh", Erin said, "I haven't been there. Am I missing out?"

"You are, you are" Janet said, adding, "but I'm missing dinner, and I would rather remedy that first!"

Erin set the Automa-Cook to make the quickest meal it was programmed for, and in less than 5 minutes they were eating. It was, perhaps, not the best meal of her time in San Diablo, but it was much better than bad. They watched TV and Janet, being tired, went to bed early.

She skipped her workout on Wednesday morning, choosing instead to sleep in. After breakfast with her sister she started to think about where the day might take her. She was awfully tempted to return to the garden, but decided instead to explore more of the area. She walked east.

Within an hour she reached an art museum. Had she studied history more carefully she would have known that the war between the United States and France 150 years earlier had ended in a peace treaty that included, among other things, the forfeiture of the contents of the Louvre to the United States. 10 of the loot found its way to that museum. Janet knew none of this, but she found many of the paintings to be breathtaking. Had she been a cartoon philosopher a light would have appeared over her head and she would have thought "Beauty is a property an object possesses when it truly is what it is and nothing else". Being neither a cartoon nor a philosopher no light appeared and she merely felt an inarticulate sense of comfort and went home.

Unlike the previous day, she beat Erin home and found that Erin had already gone where she was. Erin's experience of the museum had been different, but not less powerful. To make up for the previous night they made the best meal in the Automa-Cook's programming and played video games while sharing a bottle of wine.

Both overslept in the morning. Erin raced through morning routine and left for work without breakfast. Janet, naturally, could have eaten, but decided she preferred not to eat alone. She walked south.

In a mile she came to a coffee shop on the left side of the road. Across from it was what looked to be a construction site. She went into the coffee shop and ordered a coffee and a pastry. She asked the man behind the counter what was going on across the street. He told her that he wasn't sure, but that he thought they were building some sort of composite housing, shopping complex, and entertainment center. However, when they were clearing the lot a number of interersting objects were found. A group sued and a deal was struck where a team of archeologists were given one year to find what they could find before construction started. The archeologists had been working for close to 6 months.

She took her coffee outside and across the street. She sat on a bench and watched the activity. The archeologists were clearly working very hard, scurrying along like ants. However, even as she watched she saw no real change in the site. To all appearances they were struggling like mad and getting nowhere. She found the sight strangely compelling, if for no other reason than that it seemed like a surrealist's vision of her life. She watched, quite literally, all day, not leaving until the sun was setting. She arrived home at the same time as Erin and was quite unable to explain why she had done what she did that day. Erin let it go and they shared another in a long line of exemplary meals, watched a movie (it was about humans being trapped in a computer program written by machines to harvest mankind for energy, that one man could free humanity, but that he would have to take a lion, a tin-man, and a scarecrow to a city to meet a wizard), and went to bed.

The next morning over breakfast, Erin asked Janet if there was anything she wanted to do that day. Janet shrugged; she still didn't know much about the city. She asked about Mexico (she'd never been), but Erin talked her out of it by telling her "You can't really do that. So many Americans have been sneaking into Mexico to get good jobs that the border is a nightmare to get through. Sorry." She thought for a few minutes and said, "I've got an idea. Let me call in a favor I'm owed." Erin went into her bedroom and didn't come out for 15 minutes.

When she came out she told Janet to grab her stuff and that they needed to go. "Where are we going?", Janet asked her, but Erin brushed the question off. "It's a surprise."

They drove for 20 minutes until they reached what looked to be a nice restaurant. The parking lot was packed, with many of the vehicles being such as have no place in a restaurant parking lot. There was security at the door; they seemed disinclined to let Erin and Janet pass. A man came up behind the two security guards and beamed as he said, "Erin! I haven't seen YOU ages! This must be your sister Janet."

Erin turned to Janet and explained, "This is Justin; he and I dated for a few months about a year ago. We stopped seeing each other, but the split was on good terms. He's been an assistant director on a number of projects and always says I can be an extra any time I want. I figured I would surprise you with that."

Janet thought it was odd, but didn't argue. She got excited when she saw Keanu DiNero and Wynona Dench, though, and had to be reminded that they would rather not be bothered, but would probably sign an autograph at the end of the shoot. She wanted to ask the director what the movie was, but Erin assured her the answer would be depressing.

They were assigned to sit in the background at a table and talk over desert. By the 12th and final take Janet was full beyond words and was utterly out of things to say to Erin. She got the autographs, though, and (as Erin said): no matter what happened from there on out she could say that she was in a movie with Keanu DiNero and Wynona Dench. Janet decided it was an excellent way to spend a day. They went back home, skipped dinner, and watched some TV before bed.

Sunday was, once again, a restful day. In spite of laundry, cleaning, and grocery shopping, they did rather more nothing than something.

**Chapter 6**

Janet woke up early Monday morning, feeling great. She did an exercise routine, showered and got dressed, and ate breakfast with her sister. They chatted like tennis players warming up, lobbing small talk back and forth while studiously avoiding challenging conversation. Janet decided to go back to the coffee shop and the archeological site.

It was a nice day and a nice walk. The coffee and pastry were, again, exemplary. The cashier assured her that the key is only stocking the Automa-Cook with organic foods.

She crossed the street and sat on the same bench she had before. The view was much the same as it had been. Below her and away they were scurrying around. She had idea what exactly they were doing or why. A few million people lived in San Diablo. Most of the were unaware of what was going on; most of the rest didn't care. Still, those people were there working hard day after day at something that was intensely important to them. Maybe, she thought, that was all anyone could hope for, to have something that is that important to them (even if it is only important to them).

As she watched, her understanding of it changed. It was like a strange dance choreographed in concentric circles. At the center was a small group of people that she could only barely see. Periodically they would hand something to the second circle, who would ferry it out to the third circle, where they would look at the find and package it.

The end of the day came and she went home.

Once again, Erin thought it was strange that Janet had spent now a 2nd day watching people dig for artifacts. Janet tried to explain the inexplicable appeal of it, but it proved inexplicable. They ate dinner, watched TV, and went to bed.

Janet's Tuesday went much like her Monday. The draw of the site proved stronger than the call of adventure. The action was much the same, but again Janet felt like she was experiencing it and understanding it on a deeper level. She laughed at the thought of someone feeling the same way watching her work.

Over dinner, Erin asked her why she kept going back to that place. Janet just shrugged. Erin didn't press the issue and they enjoyed a nice dinner and evening of talking over cards.

Wednesday was like Tuesday. It brought same excellent snack, the same inexplicable sense of grasping the workings of an excavation site on a mystical level, and the same questions from Erin that she didn't have an answer for. Then they shared another wonderful dinner and another fun evening. She had a peaceful night's sleep.

She continued her new routine on Thursday. It was another lovely day. She was lost in thought and quite surprised when someone spoke to her. "Excuse me, a voice said, my colleagues and I couldn't help but notice you watching us every day. They're concerned that you're a rival archeologist spying on us."

Janet turned and looked at the man. He looked to be about her age and looked to be, beneath sweat and dust, a handsome man. "Well", she said, "I'm not an archeologist. I can't see enough of what you're doing to be a good spy. And, if I'm anyone's rival, I'm singularly bad at it." Janet smiled; he smiled back.

"Will you be here for a while longer?", he asked. She assured him she would, and he told her that he would be right back. In 10 minutes he returned, having washed his hands and face. He reached out his hand to her, "I didn't properly introduce myself earlier; my name is Jason. I'm an archeologist on the excavation."

Janet shook his hand, blushed slightly, and introduced herself. He spoke again, "We're done for the morning, and I would be delighted if you would join me for lunch. She gladly accepted and they went to the little coffee shop across the street.

She talked about her work in risk analysis; he was genuinely interested in hearing about it. She left out the part about living in New New York; she didn't want him to know that yet. He talked about his work in archeology, about being up for tenure in a year, how much he wanted to receive it, and how much he needed a significant find on this project.

After some time had passed and they had finished eating, he said, "I'm sorry; I've talked too much and now I need to get back to work." He took her hands in his, kissed her on the cheek, and continued, "I had a wonderful time; I'd love to see you again."

Janet blushed and thanked him, adding "How about tomorrow?"

It was his turn to blush. He said before he left, "I'm looking forward to it."

Janet went home, her face beaming with a smile. She had passed from ecstasy to mere happiness when Erin returned. Janet played it close about her day, not talking about lunch. Erin knew something was going on, but didn't want to press the matter. Better, she decided, to let it come out when Janet was ready.

They talked over dinner and through the evening. Janet didn't give any details, but she was clearly very happy, which made Erin happy, too. They watched a movie about an android that traveled back in time from the future to go undercover as a kindergarten teacher and then went to bed.

Janet woke up early the next morning. Too excited to go back to sleep she worked through a Pinates routine before showering, getting dressed, and joiner her sister for breakfast.

"Well, you're in a good mood today!", Erin said.

"I think", Janet replied, "This place is really growing on me. That's not to say I didn't like it before, I'm just really loving it now", she continued, telling something of a white lie.

"That's great", Erin shot back, feeling rather like she had just been told a little white lie.

Erin left for work as always and Janet left for the site. She was still excited to watch the excavation, but even more to see her Jason again.

She didn't enjoy the walk as much as she had; she was too excited. The morning passed so very slowly; she couldn't shake the fear that he wasn't there.

Shortly after noon she saw him walking towards her out of the site. It took all of her self control to keep from running to meet him. She stood up as he reached he and hugged him. She liked being held in his embrace and felt safe in his strong arms.

They went to the same place they had the previous day and she had every day, but she minded it not at all. They talked about themselves and asked about each other. She talked about her marriage and divorce (and was quite surprised to find herself so open on the subject), and he talked about how he had made it to 35 single. They talked about movies, politics, and anything else that seemed relevant at the time. In the end, Jason had to go back to work. She went back home, overjoyed at the time she had spent with him and sad that it was over.

The sadness passed quickly while the elation was still in full force when Erin returned home. Erin saw it and decided not to play dumb anymore, saying "It looks like you had a great day." When Janet agreed that she had, Erin added, "you know what I think? I think you met someone."

Janet blushed and Erin knew she was right. "Janet likes a boy-ee, Janet likes a boy-ee", Erin teased as she danced around the room. Normally Janet would have hated the teasing, but for the moment she was far happier about Jason than annoyed being teased about him.

Erin pried the story out of her sister and got even happier. This wasn't just Janet liking someone (a rare enough event), but someone liking Janet (an equally, though unfortunately and unfairly rare event). Erin said, "You know what we need to do? I think we should go to the spa on Sunday. We'll both relax, and you'll get a haircut, a manicure, a facial. . . the whole routine. Jason won't be able to take his eyes off you come Monday."

Janet consented and her sister made the plans. They spent their Saturday cleaning, resting, and doing all the other fun little things that hadn't quite happened during the week. Sunday morning they went to the spa.

She submitted to everything but the botulism treatment, somehow that didn't seem right. That wouldn't be her, she didn't think. She thought Jason liked her for her. She hoped that was the case. That was how she wanted it.

At the end of the day Janet felt great. She looked great, too. She thought so and Erin wholeheartedly agreed.

**Chapter 7**

The next morning was sunny, clear, and only very slightly cool. Clouds started to fill the sky late in the morning and it began to drizzle. As the rain started to pick up, she thought about finding shelter, but wanted to wait for Jason. She hoped the rain wouldn't prevent him from seeing her.

Just as she was about to give up she saw him running towards her still wearing his hat and gloves. The rain was picking up, and he motioned for her to meet him at the coffee shop. She ran to it, reaching the awning just as the sky opened up and the rain started pouring down. He wasn't so lucky.

She was only very slightly wet. He reached the awning 30 seconds after her soaked to the bone. Breathing heavily from the run he took her into his arms and held her aginst his body. He kissed her softly on the lips and then blushed, saying, "I'm sorry, I'd forgotten how wet I was."

She smiled at him and said, "Then I'm glad you forgot". She lingered content in his arms for some time before she added, "Let's go inside before we get sick out here"

The ordered coffee and sat down to drink it. She felt warmer and would have felt better had it been possible. "Well, it ALMOST never rains in Southern California", he laughed, "but these clouds have a very splendid silver lining", he added with a smile. "Because of the rain the afternoon work is cancelled. I'd like to spend the afternoon with you." He paused and blushed, "I hope you'd like that, too".

It was her turn to blush, and she did. "I would", was all she could manage to say.

Janet didn't know what to say. She watched the steam rising off of his coffee against the background of his soaking-wet shirt up to his shy smile and gentle eyes. She stared into his eyes and got lost in them. She didn't feel any need to speak then, feeling them to have, for the briefest moment, found a place beyond words.

The moment passed. They ordered lunch and another round of coffee. They ate, and talked. They drank coffee and talked. Sometimes they just sat in splendid silence.

She looked past him and out the window. The sky was dark and the rain had stopped. He turned around and looked, too. "I guess I should go home", she said.

"Can I show you something first?", he asked. She knew that she really should have gone home, but she didn't want to just yet.

"By all means", she said, not knowing what he had in mind.

He led her down into the excavation site. He grabbed a flashlight and they walked past pits and windbreaks that she had only seen from a distance. He led her into the heart of the site, taking her hand to help her down the ledges as they went. The pumps had cleared out the standing water.

He pointed his flashlight at something that was only very partially uncovered and asked her if she knew what it was. She shook her head and said "no" softly.

"It's a wheel", he said. "They became obsolete when anti-gravity and hovering technology were perfected in the 25th century. The technology was lost in the 26th century and since then no one has been able to reinvent it. Today we found it."

She stood silent next to him. If she didn't entirely share his awe she understood it and appreciated it. He spoke again, "I can't believe what I found here." He started to choke up as he continued "Something so beautiful and wonderful. . ." and then tailed off.

"It's incredible", Janet said in hushed tone.

"I meant you", he said; squeezing his arm around her waist.

She turned to look at him, taking his hand in hers. She wanted, more than anything, for him to kiss her. He dropped the flashlight and looked into her eyes by the light of the moon beneath the stars. He looked, overcome with emotion, into her eyes and found the same thoughts and feelings there. He kissed her.

She kissed him back with reckless abandon. Desires long forgotten awoke and were satisfied as he touched her, kissed her, and made love to her beneath the autumn moon.

They lay in each others arms and looked up at the stars. She didn't want to leave him, not tonight or ever.

She stood up and got dressed. Her clothes were wet and dirty, as were his. When they were both dressed, he held her again. "I love you", he said, and kissed her softly on the lips. She called a cab and rode home.

Erin was surprised when she saw her. With a smirk she said, "Your evening was either very good or very bad."

"Very good", Janet said with a glowing smile. "Very, very good."

Erin didn't press her for details, but asked if she could meet Jason, offering to host the two of them for dinner on Wednesday. Janet said she would like that, and that she would invite him tomorrow. Janet went to bed and had a wonderful night's sleep.

**Chapter 8**

She overslept the next morning. She was more than a little nervous about seeing Jason that day. She wasn't ashamed of what had happened the night before, but she was nervous about how he would react. She got to her usual bench at a little before noon.

He met her a few minutes later.

"I was worried that I wouldn't see you", he said.

She blushed. "I didn't know what you would think about last night. I was nervous. . . and scared."

He held her in his arms. "I said last night that I love you. I meant it then and I mean it now." He kissed her.

He held her hand as they walked to the coffee shop (now, in their minds, their place). His eyes, his smile, and his words were every bit as wonderful as they had been the previous night and the first time they met. Her fears dissipated like the morning fog and were forgotten.

Alas, work called and he had to answer. Before he left she asked, "Would you mind having dinner with me and my sister tomorrow night? She offered and I'd love for you to meet her."

"I'd love to", he said, then kissed her gently on the lips.

"I'll meet you here at 6 tomorrow evening then." she said. He nodded and left.

Janet went home and told her sister that she would meet Jason at their restaurant and being him home. Erin promised to have everything ready for them.

Janet and Erin spent the better part of that night and the next morning cleaning up the apartment. When that was finished, Janet began to fret about what she would wear. Erin went to Janet's room and brought out the black dress she had bought her weeks before. "I think", she said "this would be perfect."

It was perfect. Janet loved the dress. She loved how beautiful she was in Jason's eyes. The two belonged together.

At 4:30 Janet took a shower and got dressed. Erin helped her with her hair and makeup. even Janet thought she looked stunning. She called a cab and rode to the coffee shop. When she stepped out of the cab he walked out of the shop. He was dressed in slacks and dress shirt and tie; it was the first time she had seem him dressed other than for work. It suited him nicely. He gave her a flower and a kiss. They stepped in to the cab and went to Erin's apartment.

Erin greeted them warmly when they arrived. The apartment looked nice, as did Erin (Janet thought she had dressed down so as not to detract from her). They sat in the living room and talked. Erin asked him about himself and his work. He held Janet's hand while he answered her sister's questions.

When dinner was served they moved into the dining room. It was an excellent meal, even by the high standards Erin had set. She picked an excellent wine and accentuated the apartment's lighting with candles.

They laughed over dinner. Jason wanted Erin to like him. He was putting a lot of effort into it, and it was working. Erin smiled at Janet; she clearly approved.

The evening was going very well. Erin proposed a toast, "To Janet; it's hard to believe she's only been here 4 weeks!" Glasses clinked and Janet's face went white. She put her glass down and ran crying out of the room. Erin and Jason stared at each other in shock.

Erin asked Jason to stay at the table, that she would find her and see what was wrong.

She found Janet in the bathroom sitting on the toilet (the seat and lid were down), crying. Erin asked her what was wrong. Janet spoke through halting sobs, "I just, I'd put it out of my mind that, that I was going to be leaving. Now, its almost time, and I have to, I have to leave here, and leave him, and. . ." she ended in tears. Erin put her hand on her shoulder to comfort her.

"I'll be right back", she said, and walked out the bathroom door.

She went into the kitchen, got a glass, and filled it with ice water. She handed the glass to Jason and told him to go talk to her, pointing him to the bathroom.

Jason found her as Erin had left her, sitting on the toilet crying. "Here", he said, handing her the glass of water. She was surprised to hear his voice. She took a sip of water and set the glass down on the counter. He kneeled in front of her and took her hands in his. "What's wrong?" he asked.

She was shaken, but done crying. She spoke: "I never told you that I didn't live here, that I was just visiting. At first I didn't want you to know because you'd go, and then I forgot about it. Now I have to leave in a week, but I don't want to leave you." She started to cry again.

"It's OK", he said, "It's OK. I'm sorry that I never told you that I'm not from here either. But however far apart we are, I know two things: I love you, and I will do whatever it takes to be with you."

She looked into his eyes again; they never ceased to enchant her. She took another drink of water and he helped her to her feet. He put his arm around her and they walked back to the dining room. "I'm OK" she said to Erin. She wasn't crying, but she was still very shaken by what had happened.

Erin spoke up: "I think I'll go to bed. You two can stay up and talk, and I'll take care of the dishes in the morning."

Janet and Jason sat on the sofa holding hands. Neither spoke for a long time. It was Jason who broke the silence, "I'm sorry, I should have told you sooner. I'm on the faculty at Mars University. I should have said that when we first met, but I told myself that it didn't matter. I didn't want it to matter."

"No, it's all right", Janet said, "Maybe we won't ever become that; maybe we can't. But we got to be. I love you, and I know that you love me. Maybe that is all we can hope for."

She kissed him. He touched her. They made love there on the living room floor. They slept together in her bed. In the morning they talked for an hour. He went home to get ready for work and she packed up her things, rescheduled her flight, and went back to New New York.

**Chapter 9**

Janet threw herself into her job search. As her skills were both needed and rare, she quickly arranged for a number of interviews. It was that Saturday that her sister called. It was just before 9.

Erin sounded happy, "Janet, I'm SO glad you're home."

Janet sounded almost impossibly sad as she replied, "I started to go out, but I couldn't. Too soon. . . too soon."

Erin spoke again, "I got a present for you. I hope it will cheer you up." Just then Janet heard a knock on the door. "Was that a knock on your door?" Erin asked.

"Yeah", Janet said, "It was."

"Then you'd better answer it", Erin said. Janet walked to the door. She opened it, and saw Jason standing there with flowers in his hand. She was speechless.

He gave her the flowers and held her other hand, "I told you I would do anything for us to be together. I transferred to the New New York extension of Mars University. Your sister told me how to find you." He stopped talking. He looked into her eyes.

She said, "No, I'm not angry. I'm shocked and I'm speechless, but I'm happy. I'm very happy." She kissed him softly and slowly and invited him in.

They talked until 2AM and spent the next day together in bed. The next week Janet was offered a job beyond her wildest dreams. A month later she and Jason were married.

Erin was Janet's maid of honor. At the wedding she met Joshua, a post-doc in archeology at UCSD (University of California at San Diablo) and the best man at the wedding. But that is another story. . .

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If you are a true fan of Futurama, you're pissed right now. But you know why this is a Futurama fanfic. If you aren't a true fan, you're both pissed and confused. Either way, I'm sorry.


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